How to work with your Emotional Triggers

Emotional triggers can feel like invisible tripwires, unexpectedly catapulting us into intense emotions. They often leave us wondering, Why did that bother me so much? But triggers are more than fleeting reactions; they are keys to understanding deeper wounds and unresolved emotions within us.

An emotional trigger is anything—an event, memory, or even a subtle cue—that elicits an intense emotional response. These responses are typically disproportionate to the situation because they tap into past unresolved emotional pain or trauma.

From a psychological perspective, emotional triggers are linked to the brain’s limbic system, which governs emotions and memory. When a trigger is encountered, the amygdala—your brain’s “fear center”—may activate a fight, flight, or freeze response. This reaction bypasses the logical reasoning of the prefrontal cortex, leading to an automatic and often overwhelming emotional response. 

These triggers are deeply personal - Being ignored or dismissed, whether by a partner, friend, or colleague will trigger any rejection wound you have. Feeling left out or fearing the loss of someone important may cause emotional response to the time you felt deep abandonment from a parent or caregiver in childhood. Hearing feedback (constructive or harsh) can trigger feelings of inadequacy. 

As mentioned, triggers can come from literally anything - a song can bring back a flood of memories (and feelings) from a past heartbreak. A personal example is the smell of bushfire smoke, as there were fires at the time of a traumatic experience for me many years ago. 

Although we are not out here always trying to be emotionally triggered - The process of healing them is a journey of self-awareness, compassion, and intentional practice of regulation with different techniques and tools.

Some sort of journaling or reflection practice will work best here as the first step is to identify your triggers. 

How can I know what I'm triggered by? Pay attention to situations or interactions that evoke strong emotional reactions. Journaling can help you spot patterns. Ask yourself:

• What happened just before I felt this way?

• What specific emotion am I experiencing?

From here you can begin to explore and understand the root cause. Triggers often stem from past experiences or unmet emotional needs. Reflect on:

• When have I felt this way before?

• What beliefs or fears are tied to this reaction?

Once they have been identified and explored, the next part is to begin to train yourself to recognise them as they come up and Practice Self-Regulation Techniques. Always try to lean into the feelings and try not to avoid them. Triggers will occur from time to time but th emore you pratice feeling the emotions and regulating your nervous system , creating safety in the body to experience each trigger - the triggers will become (overtime) less frequent, ad far less intense.

Some additional reflection work you can try is to challenge any negative thoughts around the trigger points.

Many triggers are reinforced by unhelpful beliefs. Counteract them by questioning their validity:

• Is this reaction based on current reality or past pain?

• What evidence do I have for or against this belief?

Always seek emotional support, particularly if you are new to this practice. 

Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or coach can provide fresh perspectives and deeper understanding. They can guide you to process past pain and develop healthier emotional responses.

Healing your emotional triggers transforms not only your inner world but also how you engage with life and relationships. By working on your triggers proactively, You gain the ability to respond to challenges calmly and thoughtfully. Further to this, you’re no longer trapped by unresolved wounds and can embrace the present fully.

While emotional triggers can feel like barriers, they are opportunities for profound growth and healing. Each trigger is an invitation to explore yourself more deeply, release past pain, and move toward emotional freedom.

Every small step in the healing process matters. By understanding and addressing your triggers, you’ll not only transform your relationship with yourself but also experience richer, more fulfilling connections with others.