Coping with Loss and Grief

A good friend of mine passed away in 2020. Dawn’s smile and laugh is etched into my mind and heart forever - she was someone I could always turn to for help, guidance and a good “blonde moment” story.  She would send our office chocolates and lovely notes randomly, and while I lived overseas she would often send cards and care packages from home to make me feel less isolated from everything i’d ever known. The sweetest, most kind soul you would ever come across - everyone she met she would leave them better than she found them. I miss her dearly.

Grief is a universal experience yet deeply personal. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a dream, or even a way of life, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. Grief can touch every part of us—our mind, body, and soul—and the journey toward healing is not linear. Here’s a gentle guide to understanding grief and finding ways to cope with it.

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s not just an emotion; it’s a process that unfolds over time. Many people associate grief with sadness, but it can also bring feelings of anger, guilt, confusion, and even moments of peace. These emotions often come in waves, making it important to allow yourself to feel what arises without judgment.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can offer a framework for understanding grief, but remember, these stages are not a checklist. Your experience might not fit neatly into these categories, and that’s okay.

Grief is not just emotional; it can have a profound effect on the body. Fatigue, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, and physical aches are all common. It’s important to acknowledge these symptoms as part of the grieving process rather than signs of weakness.

Your mind may feel foggy, and concentrating on tasks might be difficult. Be patient with yourself as your body and mind adjust to the loss.

Practical Ways to Cope with Grief

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

Suppressing your emotions can prolong the healing process. Journaling, speaking with a trusted friend, or simply sitting with your feelings can help you process them.

2. Seek Support

Loss can feel isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether through friends, family, or a support group, sharing your grief with others can provide relief. Professional counseling or therapy can also be incredibly helpful, especially when grief feels unmanageable.

3. Create Rituals of Remembrance

Honoring your loss in a meaningful way can bring comfort. This might be through lighting a candle, creating a memory box, planting a tree, or participating in a cultural or spiritual ritual.

4. Practice Self-Care

Grief can drain your energy, so prioritize self-care. Nourish your body with healthy food, gentle movement like walking or Pilates, and adequate rest. Even small acts of kindness toward yourself can make a big difference.

5. Lean Into Creativity

Expressing your grief through creative outlets—like painting, writing, or music—can be a powerful way to release emotions that feel too big for words.

6. Embrace Nature

Spending time outdoors can soothe your mind and reconnect you with the natural rhythms of life. Nature reminds us of the cycles of life, death, and renewal.

7. Be Patient with Yourself

Healing takes time, and there’s no “right” way to grieve. Some days will feel harder than others, and that’s part of the process. Offer yourself the same compassion you would extend to a dear friend.

Grief can make us want to retreat, but connection is vital for healing. Surround yourself with people who can offer support without trying to “fix” your grief. Sometimes, just sitting in silence with someone who understands can be enough.

In time, many people find that grief shifts from an acute pain to a quieter presence. You may begin to integrate the loss into your life, finding ways to honor what was while embracing what is. Some even discover a deeper sense of purpose or connection as a result of their loss.

While grief is a normal part of life, prolonged or intense symptoms may indicate complicated grief or depression. If you find it hard to function in daily life, are experiencing overwhelming guilt, or have thoughts of self-harm, it’s crucial to seek help from a mental health professional.

Grief is a testament to love. While it’s a painful journey, it’s also a deeply human one. By honoring your feelings, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can navigate this process with courage and compassion. Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to carry your loss with grace and finding joy in life again.

There is strength in allowing yourself to grieve, and hope in the possibility of healing.