How Do You Find Your Shadow Self?

As Carl Jung writes in Psychology and Alchemy: There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”

The Shadow is also known as the parts of you that you have disowned or repressed. This can be intentional on a conscious level, or it can be subconsciously, described as the blind spots in your personality traits or characteristics. These parts of you may include jealousy, anger, judgment and rage, but there are also the powerful, creative, ambitious and inspirational parts of you that you are not aware of (yet).

Here’s a question: How can you truly embody self-love if you will only choose to see, hear, feel and love the “good parts”?

Firstly, have you considered these very parts that are hidden have played a very important role in your life, and still do? These parts or traits are created instinctively, usually as a survival mechanism used at a point in early childhood or throughout our life. It becomes part of the shadow when we hide it away or repress these traits beyond the point of its survival need.

Secondly, we are not always consciously aware of the shadow self and as mentioned, it doesn’t form part of our chosen attitudes or way of being. Our least attractive traits are visible when we come across an unmet need we have.

Why do I need to know my shadow self? Finding and meeting your shadow self will be confronting, however is necessary when we are journeying toward radical self-love and acceptance. You cannot only love yourself for the nice, positive traits you have, you have to compassionately accept the hate, nastiness & weaknesses that exist. By NOT doing your shadow work, these parts will continue to hold power over you. By remaining unconscious to the shadow self, it can be harmful to our relationship with self and others. What we are trying to achieve by doing this work is a full integration and acceptance of the light and dark within us; to love the whole self.

How can I find my shadow? Your shadow side hides within your emotional reactions. You can train yourself to notice your shadow when you have strong emotional reactions to situations (e.g. traffic jams) and/or people (that friend or family member who is inconsiderate, your boss who is condescending). You may not always catch your shadow in the moment, but as you bring it more into conscious awareness, you can begin to heal these parts of yourself.