Healthy emotions are present emotions. Pt 1

 “One of the essential requirements for true spiritual growth and deep personal transformation is coming to peace with pain” - Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

I love to talk about emotions. Boring, right?

Ever since learning more about my own emotional reactions, the root causes and how to actually feel each emotion fully and in healthy ways, I’ve become a little obsessed with mastering them. Becoming comfortable with uncomfortable emotions has been challenging to say the least, but an empowering experience, particularly heading into my first year of motherhood.

Have you ever been told or made to feel that being angry, ashamed or sad should be hidden away from the world?

Did you (or possibly still do) feel that experiencing, or expressing these perceived negative emotions is something to be ashamed of?

Does “Stop crying!” or “Don’t be angry” and “Just be grateful” sound familiar?  

These emotional responses occur in any situation that is also perceived as “bad”, and we instinctively throw all of our energy into making sure we can stop the emotional experience from happening within us, or try with all our might to avoid feeling them at all costs in the future. We do this by ignoring them and distracting ourselves or, numbing by doom scrolling or using unhealthy substances. We even try to change the emotion with positive affirmations. We have all learnt to suppress our pain & avoid any potential uncomfortable experience that might bring up unwanted emotions. 

The reality is: we will experience emotion all day everyday until we die and there are comfortable and uncomfortable emotions.

It might help to remember that all of our emotions serve a purpose; when a real threat (a snake for example) is right in front of you, you experience fear which allows you to respond in an appropriate manner (flight or fight), so sometimes our emotions will also literally keep us safe. The hard part about all of this is that our brains are wired in childhood or traumatic experiences to continue to perceive many things as threats, and so some of us remain stuck in these fight or flight emotional responses as if we are still in that past experience, reliving it all over again.

All emotions are a temporary flow of energy, and like the seasons, they change constantly. It’s inevitable that we will see winter, summer, fall and spring, and just like the seasons, we will experience each emotion at some point. What’s important to remember here is that we aren’t meant to avoid emotions. The aim is to be aware of them, observe them in the moment with curiosity, feel them fully and let them pass through.

Seems simple, and it it BUT, It takes effort and daily practice. Every single emotional experience is an opportunity to feel it and release it from the body. 

So what is an unhealthy or healthy emotion?

Unhealthy emotion is when we carry it on, refusing to let it go, even feeding it by sharing it with others. Projecting emotions from the past into the present is also unhealthy - there's no resolution & no end to the emotion. These sit within the body and will eventually express themselves at a later time (often at someone undeserving!). 

Healthy emotions are present emotions. By feeling each emotion fully in the moment, it is able to be released from the body. 

But HOW do I feel each emotion fully? Follow for part 2.