Healthy emotions are present emotions pt.2

How can feeling emotions like anger, jealousy, greed, shame and even fear be healthy for us? As these emotions present themselves in the body and mind, we have a choice to make - we can feel them fully and let them pass through or, we can suppress them by avoiding them - pushing them down or away and even try to change them from “bad” to “good” feelings. 

Healthy emotion is any emotion that is observed, witnessed, felt and released the moment you have it. 

Think about the last time you felt love, or joy and satisfaction. You were able to recognise it, witness it & no doubt understand the root cause of it, and you were able to feel it as it passed through your mind and body. Reflect on this - what sensation did you feel in your body when you experienced the emotion? Was it butterflies in the heart space? Tingling in your hands? Warmth in your chest and belly? 

Think about another time you were excited - like, so excited you felt like you would burst out of your skin. You might even smile again just at the thought, or the same feeling might reappear within the body. Now answer this - did the feeling last? Studies have shown that emotions (when felt fully) last only up to 90 seconds...

ONLY 90 seconds!

The same is also true when you feel jealousy, rage, shame and fear - the simple reality is, you just have to feel it and like a roller coaster, the feeling will rise up, and then come back down. 

In the exact same way you let yourself be completely overcome with excitement or love, is the same way you must experience the full extent of the fear in that moment. I get it… feeling a comfortable emotion is very different to an uncomfortable one. My grief can feel like a giant black hole in my chest, anxiety can feel like a million flies buzzing in my head but through these experiences I asked myself  - Can I handle 90 seconds of anxiety through my body? Can I focus on the physical sensation for less than 2 minutes?

The answer is always YES I CAN HANDLE IT. And so can you.

So, with practice, you will learn to feel your emotions fully. What are the benefits?

All emotions can become comfortable - so you can handle more and more of life’s experiences.

Relationships improve as a result of better communication & higher levels of empathy. 

Manage and resolve conflict as you develop your ability to respond, not react. 

Increased awareness and understanding of self.

Build self trust through emotional regulation (and even extend trust for co-regulation. Be a safe space for others).

Every emotion you feel is an opportunity to feel it fully and release. Start today and notice the difference immediately to your emotional & mental health, and in the quality of relationships around you!