Healing from Toxic Relationships & Heartbreak

Life after a toxic relationship or heartbreak can feel overwhelming. The emotional scars, self-doubt, and fear of the future can weigh heavy, leaving you questioning your worth and your ability to move forward. However, healing is not only possible—it’s transformative. Having been through this myself back in 2017, i’ve learned a thing or two since then about my own behaviours and how I was showing up in relationships. Since then, I’ve been walking the intense healing path leading me into incredible growth as a woman, partner and human, all while calling in the relationship i am in now - healthy, happy and unconditionally loving.

“You know you create 95% of all the problems in our relationship” - was what was drilled into my brain for 5 years. It took 2 years for me to realise that this was in fact not true, but also to heal from the emotional and mental damage that had been done internally. Not only that, but I was starting from scratch again. Moving into my brothers and his girlfriend's place as a 30 year old felt shameful - In my eyes I was a failure and would never be good enough to get back up on my own feet, let alone meet someone again. This was half the reason I didn't leave sooner and to be honest, this is the reason many women don't leave toxic relationships (I’ve found with my practitioner experience) because they’ll have you questioning -  who am I without them? How will I survive? 

Sis, you were whole before you met them and I bet if you think back to before you began dating them - you were probably doing really well for yourself too. You absolutely can (& will) survive & thrive again.

I understand that it's always easier for anyone to say this from the other side and so I’m sharing with you what I learnt over the years, so you can see practical steps and just maybe - it won't take you the years it took me to come out the other side.

1. Acknowledge the Pain and Give Yourself Permission to Heal

The first step in healing is recognizing and validating your emotions. Toxic relationships and heartbreak often leave a residue of guilt, shame, and self-blame. Instead of pushing these feelings aside, allow yourself to experience them fully. Journaling, meditating, or speaking with a trusted friend or therapist can help you process the pain without judgment.

Something to get you started: Write a letter to yourself or the person who hurt you, expressing everything you feel. You don’t have to send it—this exercise is about release.

2. Rebuild Emotional Safety Through Boundaries

Toxic relationships often erode your ability to set healthy boundaries. To heal, it’s crucial to rebuild this skill. Dont worry too much if you have “never been good” at this, anyone can learn! Boundaries are not about punishing others—they’re about protecting your emotional well-being.

Start small:

• Write out a list of things that drain your energy and begin to say “no” to as many as you can.

• Limit contact with people who trigger feelings of unworthiness or pain. That may mean saying goodbye to some mutual friends.

Boundaries create a safe space for your healing and teach you that your feelings and needs matter.

3. Overcome Fear and Doubt by learning (and shifting) your limiting beliefs

Heartbreak can make the future feel uncertain, leading to fears like “Will I ever be loved again?” or “What if I make the same mistakes?” To counteract these fears, work on shifting your focus from fear to possibility.

• Learn what these beliefs are and question ALL of them - are these MINE or were they planted by the toxic partner/friend/parent? Simply bringing this awareness will begin the process of shifting them. (I promise they’re not all yours!)

• Try techniques like Self Directed Healing that works to release limiting beliefs and the uncomfortable emotions attached to them.

4. Reconnect with Yourself Through Self-Love

When a toxic relationship ends, you might feel disconnected from yourself. Rebuilding self-love is essential to reclaiming your power and confidence.

Steps to Reconnect:

• Nourish your body: Move in ways that make you feel strong and alive, such as boxing, yoga or Pilates. Nourish yourself with healthy meals and rest.

• Speak kindly to yourself: Pay attention to your self-talk during this period. Replace harsh criticism with compassion.

• Celebrate your strengths: Reflect on what makes you unique and valuable. Write them down and read them daily.

5. Process Trauma with Emotional Healing Techniques

The wounds of a toxic relationship can be deep, but emotional healing practices can help release them:

• Somatic Healing: Trauma resides in the body. Practices like breathwork, self directed healing, somatic therapy, or even gentle movement can help release stored tension and emotions.

• Therapy or Coaching: A professional can guide you through the complexities of healing, offering tools to rebuild your self-worth and confidence.

6. Build a Supportive Environment

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. If your immediate circle doesn’t feel supportive, consider joining a support group or connecting with online communities of people who have overcome similar challenges. There are many online resources!

7. Reclaim Your Power by Redefining Your Story

The narrative you tell yourself about your experience shapes how you move forward. Instead of viewing yourself as a victim, see yourself as a survivor who is stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

Somewhere to start:

• Write down three lessons you’ve learned from this experience. How can these lessons empower you to make better choices in the future so you do not continue to look backwards to the past?

8. Embrace the Present and Trust the Future

The fear of the unknown can feel paralyzing, but healing involves grounding yourself in the present moment and trusting that brighter days are ahead. 

As you strengthen your connection to the present, you’ll find the courage to face the future with hope and confidence.

Healing from toxic relationships, heartbreak, and the fears that follow is a journey of rediscovery, resilience, and renewal. Each step you take toward healing brings you closer to the vibrant, fulfilled version of yourself waiting to emerge.

Remember, you are not broken—you are becoming. Embrace the process, trust in your strength, and know that your best days are still ahead. I’m proof of that!